What is a real fight like? A real fight is one that you cannot afford to lose. It is the fight that happens on the side road at 4 am. It is the person breaking into your house and wanting to harm you or yours. The real fight is the female being grabbed off the street by a serial rapist. A real fight is a fight for your life. The real fight is ugly. It is a fight that you do not want to be in, but once you are there you cannot quit, you cannot lose. It is not about winning, at its dark heart it is about survival and nothing else.

What is a real fight like? A real fight is scary. You are in the fight for your life and you know it. It causes you to see and feel everything in a different way. The chemicals that your body produces cause you to see and hear things in a way that throws you off your mental and emotional responses. Without getting into the scientific reasons of why this occurs, I would rather tell you what I have learned through the hard road called experience.

As a Police Officer and a Soldier, I have been in a few situations that were real fights. I have faced people that wanted to do me or others real harm or death. I am not saying this as a boast; it is where my experience and knowledge was earned.

I faced a man one night on the side of the road that was intent on killing anyone that stood in his way of freedom. This person had kidnapped, raped and was trying to kill a young girl. When I found them, he made the decision to fight as soon as he saw me. His decision was made well before I realized that there was a problem. I was not thinking that there was about to be a fight, I was complacent and looking at the contact as a routine "drunk." There were warning signs that this was more than it seemed, but they were easy to see in retrospect. I was behind the curve as soon as I stepped out of my car. This unfortunately is where the average person is also when attacked. The way to overcome this is through realistic training. You have to be able to accelerate to the same level the other person is at "mach one."

I went to grab the bad guy at which time, I knew that I was in for a fight. Grabbing him was like grabbing a live electrical wire. Just from the tactile sensitivity of touching many different people, I knew that the battle was on as I threw him into my Patrol Car. I drew my weapon and told the man to get on the ground and he lunged forward. At that time I struck him with my pistol to keep him from getting it. That is when I began to experience what adrenaline does to your body and mind.

I experienced a major adrenalin rush. It was 4:13am, but I was able see the bad guy as if it was broad daylight. At the same time, I had tunnel vision and only saw him. I could see everything about this guy; I later gave a perfect description of what he looked like and what he had on. I was focused on this person and the fight that I was in.

I began to operate on two different levels. I was thinking about what I had to do. I knew that my weapon was down and I was not able to secure it in my holster. I knew that I could not take the fight to the ground. At the same time, I know that we were kicking, hitting and tearing into each other, but I was on autopilot about what strikes I was doing. There was no conscious thought of what I was doing. It was just happening. That is a good thing in a real fight. You want your training to instill those tools in your arsenal so that they are used without thought. Bruce Lee called this "No Mind." It is indicative of your level of training and how realistic your training has been in that you are able to use your tool and tactics without a "lag" time. The computer knows what to do because you have hard wired appropriate responses into the system.

After the fight, several rings that the bad guy wore were found on the ground. It appeared that I had been doing finger locks on him at some point in the fight and pulled the rings off. I do not remember doing them however. Occasionally I was able to see openings and attacked them. I saw an opening and I kicked the bad in the groin and lifted him off the ground. It did not phase him, but it did put a chink in my mental armor. I could not fathom a groin kick not working at that time in my growth as a fighter. I made the conscious decision not to use a hip throw after ending up in that position without thinking about it. I knew that if I executed the throw, I would lose my weapon as it was not secure in my holster.

Because it was dark, I needed my vision more than my hearing. I could hear us yelling at each other, but I could not hear anything else. After about four minutes, my back up arrived. I never heard them say anything. I was too focused on the threat. As the fight continued, I felt myself becoming exhausted. I finally started to feel the blows as they landed. I knew when I was cut by a punch as I felt the blood start to run down my face and into my eyes and mouth. I actually thought that I had quit fighting when I was cut, but my backup told me that I never quit. I was still functioning on autopilot. My fear increased exponentially at this time, but I was out of the adrenalin rush that began almost six minutes earlier. I found that I was in danger of failing in a real fight. I made the conscious decision that I was not going to fail and that I was not going to die on the side of the road. I was out of gas, bleeding and hurt. This is the time in the real fight that you make decisions that you should have made the day you walked into a martial arts class. What level of violence am I willing to go to so that I will go home to my wife and family? That is a decision that everyone has to make on their own. I cannot tell you what point you are willing to go to. I know mine, now. I made the decision that I will do whatever I have to do to continue on my path. It was a little late in the game, but fortunately not to late.

As I was closing with him for what I had decided was the final time, my Sgt. arrived on scene. The bad guy decided to run at that time as he was outnumbered. He was later captured and was sentenced to life in prison. The young lady that was assaulted graduated from High School and has married. She was the real hero as she refused to give up and die during her assault.

The real fight was hard. It was exhausting and bloody. I immediately began to feel every place that I had been struck after it was over. I was nauseated from the backlash of the adrenalin dump. I felt like a failure. I had not been able to put the handcuffs on my arrest. I helped search for the suspect for two hours before being relieved by the day shift. This helped compound my exhaustion, but when I got home I was unable to sleep until midnight the day of the fight.

The real fight continues after the physical part is over. Whether you are a citizen, soldier or cop, you will be second guessed by everyone, including yourself. You might end up with PTSD, where the fight affects you psychologically long after the fight. It can even destroy you, if you let it. If it does you have to find someone to talk to about it. This is the subtle killer that most martial arts/self defense schools do not talk about. The real fight is not fun, it is not pretty.

Do not lose the real fight either before, during or after it is over. You cannot afford to lose something as precious as your life. Do not let the bad guys win.